When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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