Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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