I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
