I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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