you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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