Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.

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(443): View more from Maryland

There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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(410): View more from Maryland

There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.

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(305): View more from Florida

After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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(503): View more from Oregon

We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake

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(704): View more from North Carolina

How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????

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(443): View more from Maryland

He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.

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