I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
