i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
