is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
