I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
