Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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