Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
