so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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