How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
