wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
