I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
