just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize