I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
is that a dick in a sweater?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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