She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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