I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize