don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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