Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
We smell like vodka and hangover
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