Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Randomize
