I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
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I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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