birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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