just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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