Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this beer tastes like vomit already
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
