She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
