Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
