Midget sex pt 2 tonight
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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