I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
This baby is an asshole
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
