I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
