OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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