he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
