she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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