yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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