I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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