I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
