Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
