you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
