Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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