She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
