Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
