I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
