everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
