Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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