3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
