I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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