She said her name was "party"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
