i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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