Don't you send me to vm
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
