i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
