Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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