He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize