I think i sorta joined a cult last night
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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