And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
