she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
