I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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