Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
