Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
