I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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