Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
