I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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