Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
