I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
third nipple confirmed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
