Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
